Cemetery etiquette
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Yes, there is etiquette for cemeteries, as the last generation well knew. Families were not so scattered then, and the cemetery was behind your church – or on your property. The etiquette of a graveyard was absorbed in childhood. We should not have to note that there was no trash left in the cemetery, as trash would not have been left in any venue. |
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by N-etiquette.com |
One Sunday a month in the summer, we carried a picnic lunch to church, and afterwards had a picnic in the cemetery. Adults weeded the graves and gently cleaned the stones while children played. Children did not play rowdily; they played respectfully. They did not run in the graveyard, write on the tombstones of their ancestors, nor include the stones in their games. Voices are respectful; there should be no screaming or shouting.
Today, with so many families scattered across the country – and the world, one
cannot depend on ‘good intentions’, one must actively research one’s intentions
in order to be sure of proper behavior.
Many, with the best intentions of honoring those gone before, but faced with
what will possibly be their only visit to a particular grave will commit
atrocities unknown to themselves. There have been instances where people have
applied flour in order to read worn tombstones. Flour is almost impossible to
totally brush off afterwards. Even traces of this substance will become tacky
and trap moisture, deteriorating the stone. Other substances will have chemicals
or emollients that will discolor and eventually damage the stone.
Gravestone rubbing to collect and preserve artwork or family history is
generally all right, but do learn to do it properly, and check with the cemetery
caretaker for any rules specifically in that cemetery. There may be fragile
stones there, which may be damaged by pressure on their surface.
Today’s digital cameras are wonderful for recording headstone information. After
uploading onto your computer, edit the picture, choosing ‘invert colors’. Or
‘negative image’. The lettering will be sharp. If you select ‘save as’ and
assign this picture a new name, you will retain the original image also.
If you feel you must clean a gravestone, use a soft
brush, gentle motion, and plain water only.
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